“I must say, this is a bit disturbing.”
That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear from Elin when she was in the middle of giving me a magical examination. Especially since Cerise was nodding along.
“Yeah, I didn’t think she had it in her. I knew she was powerful, but this is pretty damned subtle. When did she get so sneaky?”
“Cerise, we’re discussing a woman who was able to infiltrate both the Red Conclave and our own group without arousing the slightest suspicion, at a time when we were all looking for a spy. Should I point out that she also has her father’s hair and eyes, but somehow no one thought anything of it? She may pretend to be a blunt instrument, but she is far more devious than she seems.”
“You two are making me nervous here,” I said. “What are you seeing?”
“Oh, you guessed right,” Cerise said. “It looks like Mara broke the restriction on what women you can have sex with. We’re just amazed at how clean it is. I didn’t think it was possible to break one aspect of a coven bond without affecting anything else.”
“I, too, would have been skeptical regarding the possibility,” Elin agreed. “Yet here we are. The remainder of the bond is perfectly intact and unaltered, so far as I can determine. It’s as if that one restriction had never been there at all. You say you didn’t even see her do it?”
“I was a little distracted at the time. But no, I didn’t see a thing. With everything else that was going on I didn’t even think to wonder about it until we were halfway back to Kozalin.”
Mara was a beautiful woman, not to mention demanding and completely uninhibited. At the time it had seemed perfectly reasonable that I’d found myself responding to her. It wasn’t until later that I realized it shouldn’t have been possible, given the way Cerise had written our coven binding. My girls weren’t interested in other men, and I wasn’t supposed to be interested in other women. Cerise had insisted on keeping the loophole that made our female followers fair game, but Mara certainly didn’t fall into that category. After worrying about it for half the trip home, I hadn’t wasted any time dragging Cerise and Elin off to the ritual chamber to figure out what happened.
Cerise chuckled. “Lucky bastard. Next time I want to be the one who gets the hot demigoddess so worked up she works a miracle just so she can bang me.”
Elin pushed a lock of dark green hair out of her face, and frowned. “Cerise, can you please be serious for once? If she could do that, what else might she have done? With that level of wizardry-”
“No,” Cerise interrupted. “Not wizardry, divine power. And you’re right, that’s a good thing, because I’d be fucking terrified of someone who could do this with wizardry. But I think I get it now. We know what Mara’s primary aspect is, right Daniel?”
“Her mother said she’s fire and freedom,” I said. “Mind you, I’m not entirely sure what that means.”
“It’s how divine power works. Gods are more like living ideas than creatures of flesh and blood, and they can work a special kind of magic with the principles they embody. Sort of like sorcery, only it’s all about being something instead of controlling it. Mara can break any binding because she’s the embodiment of freedom.”
Elin frowned thoughtfully. “Why haven’t I read this anywhere?”
“The gods don’t exactly advertise it,” Cerise pointed out. “Most of the older ones have some sorcery too, and they take on more aspects as they age. They like to keep mortals guessing about what their limits are, and they’re pretty good at it. But some of my cult’s secrets revolve around invoking Hecate’s aspects, so she’s told us a little about how it works.”
“I see,” Elin replied. “So, Mara probably has no idea exactly how she did it, then? She just invoked her power to remove any obstacles in her path?”
“Wait, if it’s like sorcery, does that mean she can take away freedoms too?” I asked.
“No, she doesn’t control freedom, she embodies it. She probably couldn’t work a binding to save her life. I doubt she knows all that much about wizardry, either. Her mother hates that shit. At most she’s had a few months of training with whatever instructors her dad could find for her.”
Elin gave the coven magic one last, long look, and sighed. “Very well. I suppose we’re safe, then. But I’m still a bit cross with you, Daniel. Sharing you with outsiders was not part of the deal.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” I said. “It’s not exactly something I planned. Mind you, I don’t know that we would have gotten out of Skogheim alive if I hadn’t given her what she wanted.”
“I think it’s an opportunity,” Cerise said. “She’d be a great ally if you can reel her in. I still wish she could have joined us when we first formed the coven. Although, come to think of it, I guess trying to include her in a coven binding wouldn’t have worked.”
“I should think not,” Elin said dryly. “I don’t see much hope of an alliance with someone who desires our destruction, either.”
“That’s something I wanted to talk to you two about,” I said. “And Avilla, too. If we’re done here?”
“You get a clean bill of health from me, big guy,” Cerise said.
“From me as well,” Elin agreed. “I can find no sign of hostile magic on you, or of any other changes to our coven bonds.
That was reassuring. The circumstances that had brought my coven together may have been less than ideal, but we were happy together. I couldn’t let anything threaten that.
Tina greeted us all with hugs and kisses when we entered the dining room. The phenomenally buxom redhead was as cheerful as ever. Maybe more so. Being pregnant seemed to agree with her, and she loved being a catgirl.
“No one looks worried,” she observed. “Does that mean everything’s alright?”
“Yeah, we’re good,” Cerise assured her, detouring by the kitchen to give Avilla a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Avilla said. “Daniel? I know you just got back, but I’d like to have a coven meeting after we all eat. There’s been a lot happening while you were gone, and I think we need to discuss things.”
“Sure. What did I miss?”
“After we eat,” she insisted. “There’s no emergency, so take a seat and relax. Dinner is almost ready.”
That was probably good advice. I’d spent the last couple of weeks working night and day, culminating in the secret mission to Skogheim that I’d just returned from. A mission that was going to lead to the deaths of several million ape men. Granted, they were trying to exterminate humanity, and my own stronghold seemed to be right up at the top of their target list. But that still wasn’t something I wanted to dwell on. It would be nice to just spend some time with my girls, and remind myself what I was protecting.
Only a month since we’d come together to form the coven, but already things were changing. For the better, I think, but everything had moved so fast it was hard to keep track sometimes.
Elin was far more relaxed now. The frightened girl who thought no one could ever want her was gone, replaced by a confident young lady who chatted amiably with Cerise about everything from magical theory to philosophy. She wore the slender, elegant faerie shape we’d crafted together more comfortably, and if her teeth sometimes turned into a mass of sharp points when she got caught up in an argument no one in our group would bat an eye. The gown she wore looked like something a noble lady would choose for an evening of lounging about at home, and her waist-length hair had been woven into a complicated arrangement decorated with little gold bangles.
Tina looked more pregnant every time I saw her, which shouldn’t have been surprising since Bast had told us she’d come to term in just a couple of months. The extra weight didn’t seem to bother her, though. With the enhanced strength of her catgirl form she still carried herself as lightly as ever, and her smile was radiant. She favored less elaborate dresses, probably due to her peasant upbringing, but a least she didn’t try to hide herself from head to toe anymore. The dress she wore to dinner was only knee length, with a scooped neckline that bared the upper slopes of her breasts and the gold power tap amulet nestled between them.
Cerise was wearing new clothes too, although in her case it was a suit of armor that showed a distinct elvish influence. It fitted her lithe curves like a second skin, and while the boots and vest were leather the rest seemed to be woven from living shadows. The amount of magic invested in the garment was pretty impressive, but so were the changes in the murder witch’s personal aura. Her magic seemed noticeably better balanced than it had just a week ago, with the demonic influence much less obvious. Her horns had shrunk a bit, and was it just me or had she gotten taller somehow?
Yeah, she had. She was just a little taller than Elin now, and her hair had grown into a cascade of silky black waves that almost reached her waist. An incidental effect of tinkering with her magic, or was she being competitive?
I was distracted from wondering about it when Avilla came in with a serving platter in her hands, and a string of maids behind her. My golden-haired domestic goddess was definitely looking a lot happier, now that we’d turned her seneschal duties over to Tavrin. She was wearing a new dress of her own, a pretty green number with a knee-length skirt and a neckline that showed off even more than Tina’s. That was scandalous by Varmland’s standards, but she wore it with confidence.
Her maids laid out the rest of the meal with practiced precision, and then poured the wine and withdrew to the kitchen. As they made their retreat I noted that they had new uniforms too. Lacy black dresses with a skirt that only fell to mid-thigh, and a neckline as daring as Avilla’s. Their sleeves came all the way to the wrist, their shoes were more like low-cut boots, and each of them had a red lightning bolt embroidered at the shoulder.
“Do you like the new dresses?” Avilla asked. “I’m still playing with ideas, but I think I like this version. Sefwin is helping me come up with a design that will work for her people too.”
“Really? That doesn’t seem very practical for a bodyguard.”
Sefwin was the heir to the Nethwillin clan of dark elves, but since she was hardly likely to inherit anytime soon I’d offered her a position running my secret service. I wanted someone capable making sure my family wasn’t going to get assassinated while I was busy dealing with some crisis, and she seemed like a good fit for that.
Avilla smiled, and called one of the maids over.
“Anyone who sees them will assume they’re just decorative, but watch. Julia, show Daniel your hidden tricks.”
“Yes, Miss Avilla,” the girl, a cute brunette with rather nice legs, said eagerly. “Watch close, milord. Fast knife.”
She flicked her wrist, and a pretty little knife appeared in her hand. There was just a whisper of magic involved, of the subtle sort that the elves seemed to prefer. A hidden wrist sheath, then?
She put it away just as easily, and then made three shuriken appear in her other hand. “Throwing stars.”
She put them away, and reached both hands into the bow at the small of her back. They came out holding a pair of ten-inch combat knives. “Fighting blades, too. Not that any of us know how to use them properly, but Lady Sefwin’s people have started showing us a few tricks.”
She made the daggers vanish just as easily as she had the smaller blades. Then she took my hand, and put it on the front of her dress. “Feel that, milord? The elves can weave cloth out of mithril somehow. The whole dress is like mail, even the skirts. There’s another version where the front comes up to the neck for protection, but I think Miss Avilla likes this one better. I’ve seen a couple of elves practice fighting in it, and the way they bounce would distract any man. Oh, and we’ve a few other surprises hidden under our skirts, but those aren’t fit for public.”
I chuckled. “I can imagine. Lacy underthings, or does Avilla have you girls going around with no panties?”
“That’s the least of it, milord,” she giggled. “Miss Avilla has the most wicked ideas. There’s no telling what you might find, should you go about lifting skirts.”
“That’s enough of that, Julia,” Avilla said. “Off you go.”
The girl gave a curtsey that exposed quite a bit of bare thigh, and scurried back to her place.
“Alright, I see you’ve got the hidden weapons angle covered” I said. “But how would elven guards blend in with a group of humans?”
Contrary to the myths from my world, dark elves weren’t skinny little waifs with pointed ears. Most of them were so stacked I would have assumed they had implants back home, and their ears were too long and mobile to hide easily. Not to mention that their skin tones were a lot darker than any of the humans who lived in Northern Europe.
Avilla turned to the breakfast bar, where half a dozen maids were lined up waiting in case we needed anything. “Girls? Raise your hand if you’d like to have a bust like an elf.”
Five hands went up. A couple of the girls raised both hands, and hopped up and down waving them around. Elin snorted at that.
“I hope you’re prepared for back pains, and not being able to lie down on them.”
“It’s worth it,” Tina interjected. “There’s nothing like the power of big boobies. You can make a man forget what he was saying just by taking a deep breath. But I call dibs on having the biggest pair in the palace. Okay, Daniel?”
I laughed. “Sure thing, Tina.”
She’d been buxom before we’d met, and then she’d taken several opportunities to talk me into giving her upgrades with my flesh magic. She finally seemed content with her assets after the last session, which was a good thing because if she were any bigger it would definitely be too much.
Avila smiled tolerantly at her. “That’s your thing, sweetie, and no one wants to take it away from you. But that wasn’t my point. Girls, who’d be willing to get turned into an elf completely?”
Most of the hands went down at that, but a couple of the maids still had one raised. Well, that was a lot more adventurous than I’d expected.
“How about being a catgirl, like Tina?”
That got half their hands up.
“A wolfen, like Gudrun and Daria?”
Four volunteers this time. Avilla smiled at me.
“You see? Just make some time to work on it, and my girls will be happy to look so exotic anyone could blend in with them. Sefwin wants to recruit some wolfen as agents, too, if you and Cerise can figure out how to make more.”
“That sounds like a fun little project,” I admitted. “I’ve also got some patterns for magically enhancing humans that I’ve never had a chance to use, just because it would take too much time. We should set up regular self-defense training for all the maids, too. If they’re going to be carrying weapons they should know how to use them.”
Avilla liked that idea. She seemed to be pretty involved in her little maid training project, which made for entertaining dinner conversation. When she’d first started recruiting I think she was really just collecting a group of cute girls she could play out some of her fantasies with, but the project had taken on a life of its own. With tens of thousands of refugees crowding the city she’d had no trouble finding talented help, and they all seemed fiercely grateful for the chance to work as servants in my stronghold.
Being a hearth witch, Avilla’s standards of performance for domestic staff were pretty insane. She’d started an aggressive training program for the staff now that she had time, and I’d been a little worried that she’d go too far with it. But to my surprise most of the girls had seen that as an opportunity, and thrown themselves eagerly into the work. Apparently having the chance to learn from the best appealed to them, especially since being Avilla’s little minions meant they were soaking up a little domestic magic of their own.
I’m pretty sure her methods of maintaining discipline could have been lifted from softcore bondage porn, considering the way Cerise teased her about it. But no one had ever come to me with a complaint, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I made a mental note that I should probably look into that a little more if I ever had a spare moment, but it wasn’t exactly a high priority.
The idea of teaching them all to fight seemed to intrigue Avilla. Not that they were going to turn into heroic warriors overnight or anything, but with the amount of magic we had available they didn’t have to. A willingness to fight, some basic training and a collection of magic weapons would be more than enough to handle a lot of threats. We could easily prepare them to deal with goblins or muggers on their own, and if they ever encountered something more serious they’d at least have a better chance at escaping while Sefwin’s agents handled it.
80 thoughts on “Thrall 01, part 1”
It seems like you are avoiding calling maid outfits the French Maid Outfits. Also. I don’t see any reason for Avilla to know about them… unless Daniel told her about them. Avilla’s patron goddess did not travel to Daniel’s universe so she could not tell her about the outfits either… or maybe she did travel there…
I agree. I thought you could fill up a coup of chapters on different clothing.
Cannot wait to be able to buy this.
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I like it good start im still hoping you do more the the dryads and nymphs and Daniel’s other allies… But it is a great start to another great book!
Thanks for writing them
Oops with not the sorry guys😁
If you’re a patron you can read up to chapter eleven before the book comes out. Might get what you’re looking for.
good thing the alteration happened to daniel and not Cerise. He hasnt even taken advantage of the girls that he could sleep with in the followers. If cerise would have had that she would have a field day because it seems to be her goal in life to seduce and sleep with as many attractive women as possible and with succubus powers its pretty ez for her to do. Even with daniel’s powers if she was serious she could pretty much break him without preperations
Can’t wait for this release hope it’s soon.
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Also in the part talking about Tina and her pregnancy I caught a small error. but a least- should be but at least . Hope that helps.
Just wanted to comment to express my enjoyment.
Yay. Thank you William!
Eagerly waiting the books release.
Seriously a entertaining start to boom 4!
Awesome – pls give a bit of notice for the publishing date so i can take the day off and read without a bad conscience 🙂
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What a responsible, well planned idea.
Can’t wait for this to come out!
Glad to see this, can’t wait to buy the book.
I am feeling a mixture of intense happiness and regret after reading this. On the one hand I am amazingly happy to get any piece of the story. And on the other my anticipation for the book has just been magnified a thousand fold. And I had just got my desire under control too.
Patreon supporters have access to chapters 1-11 if you want to read them too.
do you have a link for the patreon?
So what do we learn:
* Divine power is qualitatively different from sorcery and wizardy
* Being a god means a loss of personal freedom
Yet divinity still uses mana, as Hecate demonstrates upon using Daniel’s power stone to ameliorate her cursed injury.
I don’t know if gods “lose” personal freedom. It sounds like they are precluded from some expressions of it due to their nature. I don’t “lose” personal freedom because I can’t flap my arms and thus fly. Whether the constraints under which gods operate have any practical significance is a question. Certainly Mara couldn’t do anything that involved binding her directly, such as joining the Coven. Given her reaction to the invitation though, she might not be aware of that. She can be bound otherwise though, as her mother has determined. Mara’s currently bound to serve Gaia if she wants that part of her soul back.
For that matter, she may not be aware that she un-did part of the coven binding on Daniel. In the heat of passion, her erasure of that constraint might’ve been unconscious on her part.
Well, Hecate is not originally a godess of healing. It may be wizardy in her case. I am afraid that is not a conclusive argument for all divine magic being powered by mana. There is still the Dark Portal, which one might take for a sign that some magic needs qualitatively better fuel than mana.
For a deity created as a deity one cannot really speak of losing freedom. For a man considering ascending to godhood, however, this is an aspect to consider. Is it worth it?
I am afraid that is not a conclusive argument for all divine magic being powered by mana.
True, there might be something else, but so far I don’t think we have any evidence of what that something else might be. The Dark Portal uses souls, is likely using the mana that creates the souls, though that’s pure speculation. We don’t know whether the souls are purely confined to the Fimbulverse or whether people in Daniel’s home world have them too.
Re: Daniel’s possible ascension, yeah, the issue of freedom is one that will need to be considered.
The problem with the soul to mana theory is explaining the odd extreme specificity in fuel. Would you construct your final means of escape so that you could not operate it if you came to it alone? If it at least ran on demonic souls the Bloody Archmage could summon fuel.
Runesage might have had a backdoor control on the Portal which allowed him to use it without the bother of feeding it a soul. He was enough of a jerk that the soul requirement might’ve just been his way of tormenting people. If the backdoor was something keyed to his own magical aura, then the investigators since might not have noticed it, and almost certainly wouldn’t have been able to use it.
Sorry, still a stupid trhing to do. You may be wounded, or your last faithful minion is carrying your unconcious body to the escape. And while the device is under your control nobody would test feeding nonhuman souls to it.
I’m not sure I understand the objection. Sure, while he was alive and functional no one would be experimenting with it. If he was unconscious and his “last faithful minion” was carrying him to the Portal then yeah, if he hadn’t taken that possibility into consideration he’d be screwed. But it’s a poor Evil Overlord who doesn’t take such contingencies into account. Maybe the Portal would’ve recognized that it was him and he was unconscious and acted automatically. Such a conditional activation isn’t something that anyone else would accidentally trigger upon, and the minion might simply be programmed to take the Runesage’s unconscious body to the Portal without understanding why.
it may be unique to Hecate, the Greek goddess of magic, choice, and crossroads; patron of witches…
if she can’t use mana it would be unusual.
I’m sure that old Runesage had a key of some sort that either converted mana into an acceptable fuel, or stored soul energy. Occams razor makes it unlikely to be more complicated than that. A wizard who doesn’t think ahead, would have never lived long enough to become someone known as Runesage.
As far as Daniel goes, I’m pretty sure the only person he would have been willing to sacrifice still lives on Earth.
Thank you for the advance peek, and looking forward to the remainder of the book (may it soon be available).
Though i must say it was a curious, and perhaps not the best way (in my very much inexpert opinion) to start a book.
Granted nearly three years since the last volume _is_ a long time even for fans who have read the prior books in the series so a “Previously on Daniel Black and his Bevy of Beateous Badasses…” type of recap-slash-infodump that reintroduces some of the main characters to the audience makes some sense, but a domestic scene that goes into detail about the _clothes_ people wear and the management of a bunch of random walk-on characters we’ve never heard of before (to the best of my recollection) and are unlikely to ever hear from again?
That’s the sort of filler material you can sprinkle into the narrative (in small, homeopathic doses, unless you are endstage Robert Jordan) once you are a couple of chapters in, not at the beginning when you are still trying to hook your readership into the story.
Just my $0.02. ymmv.
I don’t think it matters most of us will reread the other books in the lead up to the release date so no need for reminders. And if there are people starting the series at this book that “hooking” then they are nuts lol
Plus I hate having info dumps at the start of the book pointlessly telling me things I already know and wasting chapters that could be used for new story.
++ I have reread the other books so much I doubt I could ever for get the story lol
Thanks for the teaser. It gives us hope. A great start for the book.
Thank You so much. I can’t wait for the book release. Thank you again.
Cannot wait for Thrall but would love it if there’s a date coming soon. Wanted to make an event of it and reread the series to smoothly transition to the next book of awesomeness!
Good to see its coming, I’ve been waiting. 🙂
Its great to see a new chapter for Daniel’s adventures can’t wait for the book to come out
I am anxiously waiting for Thrall. This looks to be a promising start, please release ASAP.
I don’t think he necessarily needs a preface to the book. Authors like Wen Spencer also go for literally years with out publishing a book in her Tinker series. David Weber has done so with the Honorverse. John Fing Ringo hasnt published something in one of his own universes for years, because in his mind he wrote himself into a corner, or so he says, think he needs to stop commenting on politics and get back to writing!!!
I hope Avilla realizes the breadth of choice she has. She can go *entirely* by competence, because anything else can be fixed by Daniel. Disfiguring scars, missing organs/limbs, advanced age – he can even adjust species and sex, should it be needed. And surviving to a ripe old age is an excellent indicator of competence in this kind of world, so there should be a place for granny maids in Castle Black…
Sounds like a new fetish…. I can get behind that
All that takes time. Time Daniel does not have. Unless Daniel switches automatic healing this has to stay rare.
Unless Daniel switches automatic healing this has to stay rare.
The “healing beds” that have been discussed previously would do the trick, especially if they incorporated a “youthening” feature. Presumably it wouldn’t take him long to make a few, and he might do so regardless of the servant situation. They’d be useful in the medical ward.
I agree with Oliver, and since you’re adding a age reversal feature to the healing beds, what happens when Tina falls asleep on the healing bed and wakes up as a kitten?
Sure, but why go through the bother when you have a massive unemployment rate and thousands of refugees? She can just pick pretty and competent. No shortage of potential help.
They may want to specifically recruit people with some command of magic. Those cases would warrant the effort.
So, some potential issues presented in this sample I’m hoping not to see in the book.
Looking at this excerpt, it seems you still need to work on making dialogue intelligible. The words of the dialogue itself is fine, but there’s a distinct dearth of descriptors such as facial expressions, body language, volume, tone, and emotional descriptors. The oh so important modifiers outside the quotations meant to give speech it’s full meaning.
It’s not as bad as many parts of the other books, but that’s a low bar. This still comes off as toneless compared to what it could/should be.
I’m hoping this goes without saying, especially given what Cerise is wearing, but the main character needs to get real armor (or some equivalent) in this book. The plot armor that’s prevented his death for every book up to this one has almost got me disgusted. The near deaths have not ramped up the tension. Rather they’ve fractured suspension of disbelief.
If he was even half as intelligent as stated, he would have dealt with the issue (as best as he was able) in book 2, early book 3 at the latest. As it is, his lack of common sense despite nearly dying to physical injuries—six, seven times now?—is a major plothole. Though to be fair it could be a sign of sheer incompetence, as you’ve characterized him as slightly incompetent before. I’m guessing that’s not the case this time because his companions haven’t kicked common sense into him despite that being IC for them, and because you’ve never characterized him as /this/ incompetent before.
Hmmm, I searched Amazon and didn’t find an author named “Sense” with published works out there for us to enjoy. Maybe you publish under another name?
It only takes basic sense to be able to criticize the previous books to this degree. On top of that, you’re talking about published works like it’s anything special, which is laughable in this day and age. All sorts of people who can barely write make money off Amazon self publshing nowadays.
It’s pathetic you’re so invested in this book’s positive credibility that you’d resort to playground passive aggressive tactics. Next time try to critique the critique if you don’t want to sound like an insecure moron.
Pardon, but this has been playing on my mind, so…
“Sense,” you came to a fan site, and made three critical, negative comments. In essence, an attack, criticizing the writing. However, when someone made an attack on what you had written (and not written), you ironically did not take it well. You stated, “you’re talking about published works like it’s anything special, which is laughable in this day and age,” another ‘attack on the writer.’
I believe there is a description for someone who acts along the lines of – “do as I say, not as I do.”
I would say that a better writer, or critic, would put out a critique, not simply post criticism. A critique would be multi-dimensional, looking at it from a larger perspective – “on ‘a,’ ‘b,’ and ‘c’ I saw this and I liked these, but on ‘x,’ ‘y,’ and ‘z,’ I saw this, and did not like them. Therefore, if you also like (naming the good), and do not like (naming the bad), be aware of what you are getting into.” That would inform people. An even better critique would also point in the direction where someone might find the sort of things that you do like.
And, do state if you are going to come back (in this case continue to read the series), or not. “I am going to keep reading this because -,” or “because it does not have what I like, I am no longer going to read it.” Or, best of all, follow Williams suggestion, and state – “I am going to write something that has what I am wanting in a book.” That would at least be in line with your comment of – “you’re talking about published works like it’s anything special, which is laughable in this day and age.” It would at least explain why you read the previous three book, why you came to read this sample, what you point was in posting your comments, and back your words with actions.
However, if your goal was to simply post an attack, you are going to invite attack I return. I hope that this is not your goal.
It may be true that anyone at all can publish on Amazon, but it should be noted that three of his books are rated with 4.5 stars, and the fourth, which was also his first has a 4 star rating. This says that despite your criticism, most of his fans appreciate and enjoy the writing he publishes. Furthermore, he is obviously making money if he has written four books. This doesn’t sound like someone who can barely write to me.
If the 1500 people who took the time to review these books agreed with your assessment, I’m sure they wouldn’t have taken the time to write such positive reviews. They most likely wouldn’t have taken the time to review the books at all. We all commiserate with your frustration that we still don’t have a fourth book to the series, but this should most likely be blamed on those Patreon enablers who throw money at the author for not producing books. Before that he was publishing frequently. The last thing we need is to give the author excuses to further delay publishing to add ‘He smiled and said, or she giggled and made eyes at Daniel as she flirtatiously whispered. If you require that much extra input, perhaps you should try Manga.
Too many facial descriptors piss me off. I am FED UP of reading that someone “raised their eyebrow”.
Also what you have to remember is that it may have been years for us since the first book, but less than 6 months for Daniel. He doesn’t have time for proper armor. The coat was a stop gap until he made something better.
Actually, giving it some thought, there have been books, and even series, that I have found to have contained persistent faults. These have caused me to stop reading them, if the writing does not improve. If the ‘hero’ does not ‘resonate’ with me, or that I find to be unpleasant, improbable, or intolerably incompetent, I have even stopped without finishing the one book… as they say, “life’s too short,” and “plenty of other books to read.”
I have never continued a series that I do not enjoy.
And, I have certainly never continued to read the book series, merely to give such a book (or series) an in-depth critical assessment of it’s faults. I have only given the first book (or two in a single case) critiques, but then moved on.
It takes a certain sort of person to follow through to a third and fourth book of a series that you do not like, in order to leave such a critical comments…
I smirked at Kervyn and raised an eyebrow in mockery.
The plot armor? You mean his defense progression from
Shield fed from personal mana
Shield fed from amulet + healing
Curse barrier added, when shield proved to not block those
Added jacket enchanted to resist kinetic force + reinforced breastplate
Coven bond blocking most mind-altering effects
Sure, he’s not running around in full plate, but only one wizard is shown to do that.
No helmet. Why, why, why?
I stopped eating just to read this
Will we get the audio book at the same time
i just hope that the audiobook comes out at the same time as the book
Sense sounds like an ex-wife.
I can see where you’re going with that. After all, ex-spouses are sometimes ex-spouses because they have reasonable standards that aren’t met. A reader who’s expectations have been burned by lack of real improvement over the course of a series—it’s unsurprising they’d have such a tone.
However, it has been odd to see them continue past the first book, where the flaw is noted, and then continue to both read the books, and then post critical comments….
Nailed it! Definitely an ex-wife.
Are you taking the piss? He (Common) wasn’t agreeing with you. He was being sarcastic….
Actually I think Common/Sense is the same person.
Love your work. I’m eagerly awaiting Thrall.
Love the work with Cerise being a Mistress of Slaughter and Daniel being a Master of Carnage. Do appreciate the fact that the hero makes mistakes and is “learning as he goes”, to try and keep ahead of life and everything coming at him. Also as I think about it, so many future plot threads- Tina’s daughter, the children of the rest of the coven, the rescue/heist that was appealed for during the coven ritual, the King – (casper’s father) who has been an off-stage character, Elin and the faery court/her mother, who is the Thrall that the latest book is named after- the only mention of a thrall I can remember is Aphrodite in one of the books, then there is Mara’s new sister and her existing twin… so lots of plots that can be travelled.. like everyone else love more excerpts or even better a publication date, so I can order it. Thanks William for creating something that’s gets me completely distracted from life’s woes.. Michael.
Also forgot the goddess with the apples rescue from valhalla.
Oliver, what do you have in mind with “some command of magic”?
The biggest population of magic users with some training would be the Conclave, and Daniel has been reluctant to piss them off by recruiting apprentices or mages. He seems to very consciously recognize that their system produces huge, moving area attacks (wave attacks?) like the devouring cloud of death that ate several Andregi armies, or that cloud of nastiness that guarded some collapsed wall sections for a day. Don’t want to undermine that and all the other defensive benefits the Conclave brings to the table along with their power-hungry foibles, hazards and squabbling.
On the other hand, there are also some “free agents” among the refugees, like the young hearth witch Daniel and Cerise rescued along with the villagers the trolls and goblins were about to crush during INTREPID’s first mission. Maybe you mean for Daniel and his coven to recruit people like that, before the Conclave collects them – or the Asgardian church executes them?
Then again, we don’t really know every feature of the “girls” Avilla recruits to be her maids. Young and pretty, yes. Adventurous and a bit kinky, probably. Magically talented? Maybe Avilla is already selecting for “some command of magic” or perhaps “some potential for magic”?
Daniel has an excess of mana. So he can make use of magicians who can use mana only inefficiently or have very little mana by themselves. Thus Daniel has a recruitment pool useless to the Conclave.
Avilla may recruit from that pool, but she has certain physical requirements which Daniel could extend.
On the other hand, there are also some “free agents” among the refugees, like the young hearth witch Daniel and Cerise rescued
I’m reminded of the survivors that Daniel noted while people-watching in Kozalin. The old man with his dogs, the group of young men guarding their women and children, and especially the cloaked individual with a hint of magic who moved through the crowd like a ghost. That last one is especially intriguing. I wonder if he’ll show up again…
That cloaked individual with a hint of magic is exactly the sort of potentially fascinating side story I also would love to see developed.
Danial may actually do better by taking in the untrained mages he finds due to his particular brand of High power enchantment and spell construction, witch is different from the manna efficient methods of construction that the Conclave Wizards teach.
I do wonder if his flesh+Manna sorcery can “fix” a person so that they can control manna or increase their existing abilities. Sort of a “build your own” School where you take the most capable and make them wizards and witches. After all if he can create elves who have natural Magic abilities why cant he just parse that ability out….
Sadly, we are all describing the type of magic user who is only marginally better than Daniel’s soldiers with their full kit of magical implements, but the soldiers actually have combat experience and combat training.
What I suspect Daniel really needs is to grab some of the local aristocrats’ court magicians, especially “free agent” refugees whose former employers are now goblin, troll or felwolf poop.
Somebody who has spent twenty years studying, practicing and performing useful magic while carefully NOT pissing off the local Asgardian priests, bishops, archbishops and, most important, noble patrons, will have exactly the sort of well-honed fear/respect for Kozalin’s very Asgardian power structure that Daniel needs in a magical retainer.
If they come equipped with a well-annotated grimoire, personal library and laboratory equipment, they could write their own contract in Daniel’s blood.
“the soldiers actually have combat experience and combat training”
Do they? The Wolfen, Dryads and those who are with Daniel since Lanrest do. But the rest? The battle against Hel’s invaders. Is that more than what refugees have gotten during their trip to Kozalin?
And I must point out that Daniel has been in Kozalin for a few weeks. His soldiers – save for veterans – are still basically in basic training.
“NOT pissing off the local Asgardian priests, bishops, archbishops and, most important, noble patrons”
I still think that limiting himself to Varmland is a mistake. If Russian mercenaries are good enough for the Conclave, they are good enough for Daniel.
Please post the next snippet, EWB!!
I do wonder what would happen if what Daniel and Mara did had happen with someone that did not have divine powers to use.
Thanks for the chapter! Been avidly looking forward to Thrall and the subsequent audiobook.
Keep up the awesome work. We appreciate you.
I thought that after all of this time, you would have finished the book by now. Not trying to sound rude, I am simply impatient. I have been looking forward to this book for a few years, just as many of you other fans have. I have been trying to keep up with your posts as much as possible. I also know that QUALITY is better with more time; however, I am pulling my hair out, Its been a long time and this book still hasn’t been released. Please hurry as much as possible I just cant wait.
This chapter just makes me want to read the rest of your book more.
Well I finally sucumbed to my weakness and gave it a ligth read. I never realized that the bond of the coven had that effect on them, heck I thoiugh that if anything it mixed their sexual atractions, like it was mentioned since Elin was straigh as Daniel was the bonds would have make them more atracted to the same sex because other members of the bond do feel sexual atraction to that sex. I guess I cuagh that part wrong there.